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I'd love to pretend that my home is filled with priceless Art Nouveau treasures that I picked up at garage sales for a song. The sad truth is that I'm more drawn to the tacky and weird stuff, like the two-dollar brass chandelier dripping with crystals that now makes our bedroom look like the bordello of your tackiest, most decadent dreams.

I realize that making fun of the type of cast-offs you're likely to find at your typical garage sale is like shooting fish in a barrel. But that won't stop me. And why should it? These crafty things, quite frankly, tend to blow. Pretty hard, actually.

acquire some Arcane Knowledge

Arcane knowledge that probably sounded pretty good once upon a time

gawk at ugly Crafts

Go on and click, because
you know you love ugly crafts

lose your appetite with unappealing Foods

What constituted "food"
for earlier generations

lose yourself in Romance

Inspired by all the 25-cent romance novels I've picked up at garage sales, I'm ready to launch my own romance novel career

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