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Canadian tax dollars
at "work"

Schools may obtain bulk quantities of this pamphlet without charge. How very reassuring that is to me as a taxpayer. Brace yourself: this pamphlet is way more boring than anything you would expect even from the Canada Department of Agriculture. And -- to add insult to injury -- it's not even very informative! Considering it's twelve pages long, you would think there'd be lots of actual information you should know about federal meat and poultry inspection, but instead the writer uses up most of that space trying to reassure us that the meat is, in fact, inspected, thank you very much. This may make a little more sense once you see the photographic evidence.

But really, the main thing you should know about federal meat and poultry inspection is that the pamphlet describing it does not make for very enthralling reading.

This photo contains the crucial elements that set the tone for the rest of the pamphlet: There are dead or soon-to-be-dead animals, and there is a person who is staring at them from a couple of feet away.

Dude, please tell me I can have this guy's job! While it's true that I'm moving ever closer to vegetarianism, I just
know I could put a pensive look on my face and daydream all day long while I stand next to a big pile of meat and pretend to "inspect" it.

Yep, that shure is a carcass alright.

Retail cuts from a healthy carcass
stamped "Canada."


Is this what they call Mad Cow Disease? Maybe it's just me, but it doesn't exactly seem like this guy is examining the cows; it looks more like he's regaling them with his excrutiatingly dull life's story.

And the cows look like they've heard this one before.

They're thinking,
If he tells that story -- the one about how he wanted to be a painter but his kindergarten teacher stifled his creativity -- if he tells that story one more time, I swear I will slaughter him!

You know, after seeing how much actual "inspection" goes on, I'm thinking I might start ordering my steaks well-done from now on.

Pre-slaughter examination of beef cattle
by Health of Animals inspector

More meat-examination frolics...

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